Center of attention,
center-stage,
the whole array,
like sunshine,
and so bright you gotta hate.
Okay with me.
Delusional fantasies.
Alcohol induced reality.
I thought I was hot,
You probably thought not.
A fool, u said
with pitty in your eyes.
But I just continued to dance,
despite your despise.
Young and arrogant,
double vodka and cranberry in my glass,
blood hound gang,
I wanna f$&@ you like an animal on the pa,
And I'm gonna dance the night away.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Friday, December 4, 2009
10 Signs of Flirting
I have long held to the idea that women have many subtle signs when it comes to flirtatious behavior. Many times I would blow off what I thought was flirty behavior – reminding myself that I can tend to be arrogant and slightly self absorbed. Well according to this article by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen The 10 Signs of Flirting it looks as though it was not just my ego, my suspicions were actually spot on.
Let’s just say that it is probably a good thing that I learned this 6 years into a very happy and healthy relationship. Who knows how many more broken hearts and dead end relationships I would have suffered through, had I known then what I know now.
Let’s just say that it is probably a good thing that I learned this 6 years into a very happy and healthy relationship. Who knows how many more broken hearts and dead end relationships I would have suffered through, had I known then what I know now.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Randomness
Wow, I can't believe that it has been almost 4 months since I have posted on here. Summers are always crazy busy for me and my family. We seem to be traveling none stop, with get-togethers, birthdays, weddings, and camping all summer long.
I feel like I have matured a lot this summer and I am developing an even deeper self awareness. I'm sure having a child helps to engage that process more fully. Every day is so exciting and such a learning experience. It is amazing how fast they change and how bright little ones are. Just the other day he figured out how to throw objects. Unfortunately for me he decided to practice throwing things into the toilet..... Didn't exactly plan on spending the evening pulling out the toilet and attempting to remove foreign objects from within it depths.
We did get to spend some time with our God-daughter Chloe. She is adorable and Etham wanted to love on her, although he tends to do a cross between pounding and clawing, with a few kisses in between.
Feels good to write. Hopefully I will post again soon. Oh ya and I know I need a hair cut...lol
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Being a parent is a pretty amazing experience, I am learning things about myself everyday. Yesterday I had to take my son to the Dr. They think he has pink eye. I'm not one to over react when it comes to things like this, its not life threatening, but It is the first in what I am sure will be a number of sicknesses he will get. I am grateful for every moment I get to spend with my precious boy. We are taking him for his first camping trip this weekend. Both my wife and I enjoy camping, so he is going to have to get used to it sooner or later. It will be interesting to see how he does, my biggest concern is the 3-4 hour car ride. He does love being outside, so I am sure he will have fun. Did I mention that we are tent camping. lol. Well I will follow up with some pics and highlights next week. Other than that, take care, have a safe and fun weekend.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Is Love a choice
Feelings are not the end all be all. Feelings serve a purpose, yes. There is a reason however that we have the capability to feel one thing but can choose to do another. Just to be clear, everything is a choice – everything, and by not making a choice, we make a choice.
Any pre-marital book you read, and any relationship counselor you talk to will tell you that the “In-love” feeling will eventually go away. If you go into a relationship with the idea that you will always feel the way you felt in the beginning of a new relationship, you will ALWAYS be let down. Then you will decide you're not in love with the person and most likely move on. Being “In-Love” serves a very real biological purpose, think about how the process works for a second, it is directly related to our need to procreate. Not only will the “In-Love” feeling go away, but your love will change. I love my wife differently today than I did even 1 year ago. I actually love her more today (5 years later) than I ever have. It is not superficial, it is not like it was in the beginning when I was too “In-love” with her to see her defects, and I was excited in getting to know her. We (my wife and I) made a choice to grow in our relationship and friendship. We understood that at somepoint we would have to learn to truly love each other and we have. We have had to work through the tough times, the frustraiting times. We have both made the choice to work on our relationship no matter what and that divorce is not an option. That being said we have also made the commitment to not step outside the marriage, no matter what our feelings might tell us. It is seriously unrealistic to think that you will never be attracted to another person in your life, because you are married to the one you love. The difference is what you do with that attraction or those feelings.
This is a little parable that does a great job of describing our choice over feelings -
Choosing empowerment and positivity, or negativity and unhappiness, is a decision that you're making every day, whether you realize it or not.
Native American culture tells the story of a man who explains his own constant struggle between positive, empowering, creative impulses and negative and self-destructive ones by telling his son that he has two wolves fighting in his heart -- a good wolf and a bad one. The boy asks him which of the two will win the battle. The father replies, "Whichever one I feed."
It's very true. The feelings that we nurture and return to, time after time, are the ones which come to dominate our thoughts and actions, while the ones we turn away from fade away.
The exciting thing is, we have a choice. Although the two wolves both exist, we can choose which one of them we want to feed. That means, we choose which one will win.
You probably know people who feel sorry for themselves, who belittle others, who seem to get some kind of pleasure out of feeling miserable, who portray themselves as victims and reject the affections of anyone who doesn't offer constant sympathy. Often it seems to everybody but themselves that they actually have a whole lot going for them, but they're apt to be defensive if anyone should ever dare to point that out!
That's a classic example of what happens when you feed the bad wolf. You don't satisfy an appetite for any kind of feeling when you feed it - you only make it stronger. If you indulge negative feelings about yourself or other people, you strengthen them until they're very hard indeed to break away from.
The other side of the coin's what happens when you feed the GOOD wolf. If you know people who always seem to get a real kick out of life, who laugh a lot, have lots of friends and interests, and light up the room with energy and sparkle, who succeed in everything they turn their hand to and who always seem to have a lot of fun, you don't need ask which wolf THEY'RE feeding.
Choosing Empowerment And Positivity - Feeding The GOOD Wolf by Aislinn O'Connor Supreme Success
Any pre-marital book you read, and any relationship counselor you talk to will tell you that the “In-love” feeling will eventually go away. If you go into a relationship with the idea that you will always feel the way you felt in the beginning of a new relationship, you will ALWAYS be let down. Then you will decide you're not in love with the person and most likely move on. Being “In-Love” serves a very real biological purpose, think about how the process works for a second, it is directly related to our need to procreate. Not only will the “In-Love” feeling go away, but your love will change. I love my wife differently today than I did even 1 year ago. I actually love her more today (5 years later) than I ever have. It is not superficial, it is not like it was in the beginning when I was too “In-love” with her to see her defects, and I was excited in getting to know her. We (my wife and I) made a choice to grow in our relationship and friendship. We understood that at somepoint we would have to learn to truly love each other and we have. We have had to work through the tough times, the frustraiting times. We have both made the choice to work on our relationship no matter what and that divorce is not an option. That being said we have also made the commitment to not step outside the marriage, no matter what our feelings might tell us. It is seriously unrealistic to think that you will never be attracted to another person in your life, because you are married to the one you love. The difference is what you do with that attraction or those feelings.
This is a little parable that does a great job of describing our choice over feelings -
Choosing empowerment and positivity, or negativity and unhappiness, is a decision that you're making every day, whether you realize it or not.
Native American culture tells the story of a man who explains his own constant struggle between positive, empowering, creative impulses and negative and self-destructive ones by telling his son that he has two wolves fighting in his heart -- a good wolf and a bad one. The boy asks him which of the two will win the battle. The father replies, "Whichever one I feed."
It's very true. The feelings that we nurture and return to, time after time, are the ones which come to dominate our thoughts and actions, while the ones we turn away from fade away.
The exciting thing is, we have a choice. Although the two wolves both exist, we can choose which one of them we want to feed. That means, we choose which one will win.
You probably know people who feel sorry for themselves, who belittle others, who seem to get some kind of pleasure out of feeling miserable, who portray themselves as victims and reject the affections of anyone who doesn't offer constant sympathy. Often it seems to everybody but themselves that they actually have a whole lot going for them, but they're apt to be defensive if anyone should ever dare to point that out!
That's a classic example of what happens when you feed the bad wolf. You don't satisfy an appetite for any kind of feeling when you feed it - you only make it stronger. If you indulge negative feelings about yourself or other people, you strengthen them until they're very hard indeed to break away from.
The other side of the coin's what happens when you feed the GOOD wolf. If you know people who always seem to get a real kick out of life, who laugh a lot, have lots of friends and interests, and light up the room with energy and sparkle, who succeed in everything they turn their hand to and who always seem to have a lot of fun, you don't need ask which wolf THEY'RE feeding.
Choosing Empowerment And Positivity - Feeding The GOOD Wolf by Aislinn O'Connor Supreme Success
Forgiveness
The thing about resentment is that it hurts the person that holds on to it more than anyone else. Its liking being angry at someone and then drinking poison to get back at them. Forgiveness is a huge key to being content and finding happiness in this life.
Forgiving someone is not saying what they did was right or ok. Forgiving someone is not condoning their actions.
Forgiving someone is releasing the power, bond or hold that that person or their actions have over your life.
I have had to forgive some people for some pretty horrific things that were done to me. I am in no way saying this is easy or that there is not a process one must go through, but having gone through it I can attest to the fact that I have never felt as free or as comfortable in my own skin until I was able to truly forgive them.
I can really relate to what you are saying. I don't feel this is the proper place to go into the details, but I have been able to forgive people for the cruelest things a person can do to a child.
I know that at some point living with the hurt becomes normal and almost a fuel or a catalyst for certain areas, for instance I had step dad that told me I was a worthless piece of shit every day he was in my life and that I would never succeed in anything, and I would never even graduate highschool. That motivated me to prove him wrong, I do have a high school diploma, and I just graduated from college (@ 30, but still have my degree). Now that was fine and all, except the fact that as long as I held on to that resentment, I still felt deep down inside that I was that piece of shit, no matter what I accomplished.
The bottom line is until you truly forgive that person it will eat you from the inside. You can try and mask it with a happy face, a career, alcohol, sex, what every you choose, but it is always their when your home alone in that quiet place and the alcohol is warn off and the girl is gone.
Also I didn't want to have the baggage to carry into my marriage and take out on my wife or children, I wanted to deal with it the best I could so I don't make the same mistakes. There is a saying that unfortunately many times is true - "We become the things we hate"
Forgiving someone is not saying what they did was right or ok. Forgiving someone is not condoning their actions.
Forgiving someone is releasing the power, bond or hold that that person or their actions have over your life.
I have had to forgive some people for some pretty horrific things that were done to me. I am in no way saying this is easy or that there is not a process one must go through, but having gone through it I can attest to the fact that I have never felt as free or as comfortable in my own skin until I was able to truly forgive them.
"What if you have no desire to forgive them? That living with the turmoil and disgust of the situation at hand is far better then releasing that hold that they have on you?"
I can really relate to what you are saying. I don't feel this is the proper place to go into the details, but I have been able to forgive people for the cruelest things a person can do to a child.
I know that at some point living with the hurt becomes normal and almost a fuel or a catalyst for certain areas, for instance I had step dad that told me I was a worthless piece of shit every day he was in my life and that I would never succeed in anything, and I would never even graduate highschool. That motivated me to prove him wrong, I do have a high school diploma, and I just graduated from college (@ 30, but still have my degree). Now that was fine and all, except the fact that as long as I held on to that resentment, I still felt deep down inside that I was that piece of shit, no matter what I accomplished.
The bottom line is until you truly forgive that person it will eat you from the inside. You can try and mask it with a happy face, a career, alcohol, sex, what every you choose, but it is always their when your home alone in that quiet place and the alcohol is warn off and the girl is gone.
Also I didn't want to have the baggage to carry into my marriage and take out on my wife or children, I wanted to deal with it the best I could so I don't make the same mistakes. There is a saying that unfortunately many times is true - "We become the things we hate"
Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships
I found this on the following website - http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/youth/health/relationships/healthy.htm
How a Healthy relationship looks compared to an Unhealthy one -
Healthy
Loving and taking care of yourself, before and while in a relationship.
Unhealthy
You care for and focus on another person only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the other person.
Healthy
Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to "be themselves."
Unhealthy
You feel pressure to change to meet the other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas or criticized. Or, you pressure the other person to meet your standards and criticize his/her ideas.
Healthy
Doing things with friends and family and having activities independent of each other.
Unhealthy
One of you has to justify what you do, where you go, and who you see.
Healthy
Discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally.
Unhealthy
One of you makes all the decisions and controls everything without listening to the other's input.
Healthy
Expressing and listening to each other's feelings, needs, and desires.
Unhealthy
One of you feels unheard and is unable to communicate what you want.
Healthy
Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other.
Unhealthy
You lie to each other and find yourself making excuses for the other person.
Healthy
Respecting each other's need for privacy.
Unhealthy
You don't have any personal space and have to share everything with the other person.
Healthy
Sharing sexual histories and sexual health status with a partner.
Unhealthy
Your partner keeps his/her sexual history a secret or hides a sexually transmitted infection from you or you do not disclose your history to your partner.
Healthy
Practicing safer sex methods.
Unhealthy
You feel scared of asking your partner to use protection or s/he has refused your requests for safer sex. Or, you refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you make your partner feel scared.
Healthy
Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex.
Unhealthy
Your partner has forced you to have sex or you have had sex when you don't really want to. Or, you have forced or coerced your partner to have sex.
Healthy
Resolving conflicts in a rational peaceful, and mutually agreed upon way.
Unhealthy
One or both of you yells and hits, shoves or throws things at the other in an argument.
Healthy
There is room for positive growth and you learn more about each other as you develop and mature.
Unhealthy
You feel stifled, trapped, and stagnant. You are unable to escape the pressures of the relationship.
How a Healthy relationship looks compared to an Unhealthy one -
Healthy
Loving and taking care of yourself, before and while in a relationship.
Unhealthy
You care for and focus on another person only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the other person.
Healthy
Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to "be themselves."
Unhealthy
You feel pressure to change to meet the other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas or criticized. Or, you pressure the other person to meet your standards and criticize his/her ideas.
Healthy
Doing things with friends and family and having activities independent of each other.
Unhealthy
One of you has to justify what you do, where you go, and who you see.
Healthy
Discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally.
Unhealthy
One of you makes all the decisions and controls everything without listening to the other's input.
Healthy
Expressing and listening to each other's feelings, needs, and desires.
Unhealthy
One of you feels unheard and is unable to communicate what you want.
Healthy
Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other.
Unhealthy
You lie to each other and find yourself making excuses for the other person.
Healthy
Respecting each other's need for privacy.
Unhealthy
You don't have any personal space and have to share everything with the other person.
Healthy
Sharing sexual histories and sexual health status with a partner.
Unhealthy
Your partner keeps his/her sexual history a secret or hides a sexually transmitted infection from you or you do not disclose your history to your partner.
Healthy
Practicing safer sex methods.
Unhealthy
You feel scared of asking your partner to use protection or s/he has refused your requests for safer sex. Or, you refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you make your partner feel scared.
Healthy
Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex.
Unhealthy
Your partner has forced you to have sex or you have had sex when you don't really want to. Or, you have forced or coerced your partner to have sex.
Healthy
Resolving conflicts in a rational peaceful, and mutually agreed upon way.
Unhealthy
One or both of you yells and hits, shoves or throws things at the other in an argument.
Healthy
There is room for positive growth and you learn more about each other as you develop and mature.
Unhealthy
You feel stifled, trapped, and stagnant. You are unable to escape the pressures of the relationship.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
