Mi Hijo

The way he looks up at me and smiles. My son see’s me come into the room and his facial expressions light up. He smiles, his eyes get big. A sense of overwhelming joy and emotion flood through me. I just want to hold him, god it is going to be so difficult to have to displine him, but I know without a doubt that it is vital to his success. Each day I gain a better understanding of why people say that they miss this stage of a childs life. I love it when he smiles so big that his eyes are squished closed by his little round cheeks. His laughter , not even fully developed is such an amazing thing. I watch him sleep. So peacefull, arms flung out above his head. He even smiles in his sleep sometimes, I wonder what he is dreaming about.

He is trying to crawl, and hasn’t quite figured out how to lift both his hind and front end at the same time. I want to help him, I want to do it for him, but I know this will only hinder his development. So I sit and watch as he lifts his butt into the air, while planting his chest and face into the carpet. I try not to laugh to much at the quite humorous sight. He begins getting frustrated that he is not getting anywhere and just rolls to his back. Smiles at me and then goes back to attempting this new feat.

He loves music, or maybe it is more that we love music and he has no choice but to listen. A good beat comes on and he begins bobbing his head. He will sit and stair for hours as I bang away on the drums, or strum out a tune on my guitar. I wonder if he remembers the songs I sang for him in his mothers womb. Those days I would sit and play my 6 string, while freestyling lyrics about the surprise that was growing within.

Who would have thought that just a few months later a blue eyed baby boy would be born into the world 8lbs 8oz, 21 inches long. With dark brown hair and blue eyes. I blink and he is five an a half months old now, his eyes are still blue as can be, we are hoping they stay that way. I will do what ever I can to protect his innocense, and give him the chance that was stolen away from me to enjoy being a child. Today I get to be the father that I always wished I had, an chance to be the father I always wanted for me.