Forgiveness

The thing about resentment is that it hurts the person that holds on to it more than anyone else. Its liking being angry at someone and then drinking poison to get back at them. Forgiveness is a huge key to being content and finding happiness in this life.

Forgiving someone is not saying what they did was right or ok. Forgiving someone is not condoning their actions.

Forgiving someone is releasing the power, bond or hold that that person or their actions have over your life.

I have had to forgive some people for some pretty horrific things that were done to me. I am in no way saying this is easy or that there is not a process one must go through, but having gone through it I can attest to the fact that I have never felt as free or as comfortable in my own skin until I was able to truly forgive them.

"What if you have no desire to forgive them? That living with the turmoil and disgust of the situation at hand is far better then releasing that hold that they have on you?"

I can really relate to what you are saying. I don't feel this is the proper place to go into the details, but I have been able to forgive people for the cruelest things a person can do to a child.

I know that at some point living with the hurt becomes normal and almost a fuel or a catalyst for certain areas, for instance I had step dad that told me I was a worthless piece of shit every day he was in my life and that I would never succeed in anything, and I would never even graduate highschool. That motivated me to prove him wrong, I do have a high school diploma, and I just graduated from college (@ 30, but still have my degree). Now that was fine and all, except the fact that as long as I held on to that resentment, I still felt deep down inside that I was that piece of shit, no matter what I accomplished.

The bottom line is until you truly forgive that person it will eat you from the inside. You can try and mask it with a happy face, a career, alcohol, sex, what every you choose, but it is always their when your home alone in that quiet place and the alcohol is warn off and the girl is gone.

Also I didn't want to have the baggage to carry into my marriage and take out on my wife or children, I wanted to deal with it the best I could so I don't make the same mistakes. There is a saying that unfortunately many times is true - "We become the things we hate"